seandearth

well, the summer just started. the sight of the beach under a warm rain on my feet. again i was lost in some cold eyes staring at nowhere. the mud took a hold of my legs the eyes turned around and caught a gaze on me stared at me like some freak show crying in the rain laughed turned round and left walking on the beah walking beside someone else i won't be walking after you

i'm sorry for all the things i did. for all the things i said. for the way i looked at you, and the way you smiled. sorry for all the lies, and the non-truths. sorry for the frenzy and the dancing, the alcohol and the rain. sorry for me and my family. yeah, right...

this shit you put me through... i was just walking home safe and sane and you appear with your face screaming at me like i was some kind of heartless mother. it keeps me sane that i know you for a little while. i wanted to take care of you.

its hard to say goodbye nowadays. it is heartwarmingly fun to go out and dance in the cold listening to a lost track, but i want more than some fun for tonight. no surprises tommorrow. the house and the yard in the same spot as ever, the family spread all around the lake. festivities suck all year round and im also alone. goodbye

my son came to visit me that year, it was a cruel way to say goodbye. he left laughing as i choked with the impression that i helped raising a little monster. the winter was over, but the feeling of coldness had just started.

i wake up at night to see you sleeping next to me. it's not the fact that i'll know you'll go away someday, or that your days here are few and counted. i just like to hear you breathe and touch your skin to wake you up and have a kiss. tomorrow you'll leave, and i'll wake up alone. but today, you lie here, in my bed, in my world, in my haunted eyes and truthless hands. today i'll kill for you. and kiss you, and strangle you until you stop me.

my eyes start to hurt the cross air between breaths standing still and then falling becoming begone start and stop this will be the end frown and then look at your shoes desperation is stepping over grief and then my legs hurt my voice goes numb eyes twitching dot the i "leave me be. leave me here in my complaining sick sad little world." (incubus)

we came into an opening for the first time in hours. the jungle was very dense and this was like a moment to breathe. they were faster and obviously catching on us, so we had to move faster. the leader thought it was a good idea to pause, but the rest of us continued walking and couldn't look back when we heard the gunshot. It was only a matter of time.

i watched my feet i just sat and watched my feet go up and down, up and down, up and down. Like when we were kids and sat on a swing. the dream was the same as our fear, going all the way round like a wheel. and then i jumped out and stared forward, into the valley, and even out of the valley and into the sea. it was a beautiful afternoon. My legs felt new and my grandkids where about to come home for supper. "so long grandpa" was all i needed to hear that day.

it was mid-afternoon. it was somewhat cold and it was supposed to rain in a few hours. the street looked calm, and some dogs barked at a safe distance. he was walking towards my door, i looked through the window and then closed the curtain. "I came to talk to you" he said. "well, sit down and talk". He told me how his last month was, how he missed our conversations and why he left me behind when we were running from the cops. He told me he wanted to be my brother again, and accept his apologies. I thought this would never happen, so i just hugged him and told him i was sorry too, for everytime i did not speak to him when he was in pain. He left after dinner and we agreed to meet on the weekend. that was a month ago, we haven't spoken since and I'm too cold to move. maybe i couldn't care less if i see anybody again.

donnie woke up at a quarter to 5, talking in his sleep and walking to the bathroom. he stared at his feet and then walked back to his bed only to find his pillow on the floor. he reached down to get it, and got into bed again. when the clock alarm went on, he took his 7pm pills. when the clock alarm went on, he took his 03am pills. Then he went to the bathroom at 4am. bed. pills. bath. bed.

LONG AGO WHEN I WAS FASTER THAN THE HORSE I RIDE, THE WHOLE THING WAS CLEARLY THE OTHER WAY ROUND NOTHING CAME AND NOTHING WENT UNLESS I SAID SO NO SOUL WAS TO BE SEEN AT NIGHT NO FLYING DWELLER WAS PERMITTED IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY. tHE ONLY FLIGHT WAS MY MISTRESS COMING FOR ME, WITH NEW BLOOD HOT AND READY FOR SUPPER THE CRYING BLOOD OF THE NEW VIRGIN SACRIFICE AND NOW. I JUST CRAWL IN THE MUD, AND KICK MYSELF IN THE COFFIN THAT SHALL ULTIMATELY RECEIVE ME.

I'm poured out of the room like a stone bleeding. in the rain, outside, without a chance of being seen, i start crying. and walking. i also ran some of the time, and tripped and ran some more. then i tried to laugh a little, as i felt bleeding in my right hand. the movie was over and i guess i was over too. the public spat on my face as my last credits stand proud out of focus.

nod, yes i repeat, nod. the thing was clear, the corner of my eye was fixed into her. i stared across the room just to se her shiny eyes pass through me. we WERE going to be dancing in around 30 seconds. my feet move along ths path:25. two more tables and it's her:20. i stare at the feet of her chair, and then up:15. i whisper "would you like to dance":10. She says "i'm sorry, i couldn't listen":5. I stretch out my hand, and she stands as we start listening to The Shins. 0 seconds, So says I.

"pray your life was just a dream the cut that never heals" M.M. I get up from the cut, i shave, i bleed a little feeling death overcoming sleep. i pray that today will be my last. i pray for everyone to leave quietly my room, leave in peace as i rest trying to find my own. i pray in pieces, kneeling in the red floor. i pray and then collapse. "when all of you wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed" M.M.

fuckin' kisss, right. i come and go and exactly when you get up i go right behind you to the bathroom you go in i come in the timing is really slow the smile you turn no surprise in your face the smile and just then the fuckin' kiss right the thing we thought would be perfect at the moment you get down from wherever i turn round and collapse walking down the stairs off the restroom

the usual day study and no play for nico the dolphin princess of South Namibia in the region of the Teresita galaxy Town born in Neptune in the year 2004 of the Mayan Calendary Born heir of the throne to the Teresita galaxy when she was 5 she developed magic around dolphins that is why she is nicknamed "dolphin princess" when she was 10, she had her first heart broken (remember that Teresiteans have at least 4 hearts) and she wrote five books: some of poems, and some of stories, which became instant best sellers in diverse galaxies such as the pixie galaxy, which revolves around crazy little children making music, the venus galaxy, that involves broken hearted women who search for their strength and beauty without men and also the corean galaxy which made innumerable copies of the books, that were sold cheap because they were unregistered copies when she was 15 she decided to be a doctor she always knew biology was the key to life, and therefore she had to manage the language...

sing: la-la-la-la-la, no particular rythm at all. figuring as you go along where you stop and when you start again, maybe humming once in a while. at some point try and stand up, walk out the door. breathinair. shout to your dead parents, try and climb the neighbours wall. if you do succeed and do not fall, go ahead into the living room and continue singing. Eventually someone will join in. good luck

it was ok that i did not wake up at 10 that day. next day, when i hit the shower the clock showed 714am. She was asleep in my bed when i left the apartment. My mood was cloudy that day, i remember it very well. Nothing had changed for a few years so i decided i had to do something. i went down to the clinic, took a blood sample and wrote in red: "to my dear darling, all my love written in my blood"

the sun shone in the screen as cars passed out in the street. it was a clear day for a lonely freak. it was obvious to the birds outside of the window the day would have an abrupt end. there were no wars, no comets coming down. It was just a bad stroke of depression coming down on the freak. He thought about jumping, but it was the second floor. It was then he thought he could write himself to death. ps: welcome to my life