seandearth

It was then when the axe fell and the hall smelled colder Wind blowing away from the windows into the corridors A wasteland was about to be uncovered Brutal castles emerged from the depths Cold crystals swallowed whatever life was left Blinding lightning torched the earth once fruitful Charred and deaf rocks lay ahead, one after the other Once green had now all turned grey

It was a tragedy, everyone said so. When the cars collided and both went down the bridge, survival seemed impossible. Some bodies later floated on the river, blue and very dead.  Only one remained unfound.  One smiling face sob who planned it all.  But who cared? They were all criminals They were past due. Finished No one ever located that last man standing And no one ever will.  Certainty is a hard thing to find, but finding a woman you thought was a man may be even harder. 

Im standing inside my room facing the door. Everything seems quiet. I stood up 30 seconds earlier because. I heard some sounds. Im in my pijamas. My pajamas are blue, but I am scared. The door starts to open and I freeze.  Its 30 seconds later and im facing the wall now. Im peeing my pajamas, now they are even darker blue and Im still scared. I have some confort in being here alone, if my parents were here there could be more of a mess. They (i can hear at least two voices) put a blindfold and carried me to bed. Im still and quiet and they dont talk a lot.  I dont know how but I fall asleep, and dream about my house being robbed. In the dream, i was very cool and still, there was no violence.  Then i woke up with a slam in the door and they were gone. 

Never wrote by hand, trembling with disease. Stapled all my limbs to rotten furniture. The pictures in my head keep me awake. The lack of context keeps me hidden. Like a chameleon, looking for the next place to blend in silence. where do you keep me? what will you find? Maybe only a smile in my face and an invitation to step in for some tea or a walk in the park.

So what would it take.  Guts. Focus. Will No... I could not possibly do that It would take to brake my own code I didnt know wether to play or to lose I didnt know wether to run or hide It was such a nasty feeling It was a threat Horrible twisted guts 

The creation lasted a while in the sun. The heat melted it faster than everyone thought possible. Sensitivity was at last obtained and returned to the sender. The inhumane taste of afterglow was sweeter to her than anyone else, so she felt obligated to speak on their behalf. "Thank you for everything, but we don't need you anymore". And as they returned to their ships, the last of them waved as if to say goodbye.

cadence teardrop senseless sentence. and then it all blows up. the figurines, the sex, careless flesh all around mixed with alcohol everyone drowning private issues in public disgrace. paying for someone else to lick their tasteless wounds, suffocate them, tie them, smell them, curse them. and when the rituals are finnally over, return to their homes, where they choose to hide. just let everything out, and then slit your innner thoughts. just bottle up your demands and differences. just let it creep up no more, and sleep for a while.

why have to make choices. why can't it be like the coming and going of the sea, keeping the tide warm, free of riddles and cliffs. i cant even understand anymore, and my eyes wont cry. let it be said that destiny is chosen by few, but confronted by all of us. and then again, if you choose sleep, or if you choose not to be awake, then you may not be choosing at all.

ive been waiting for this. a moment in which i sit down not thinking of a cigarrete, or a beer, or porn. a moment for my head to be blank, a sort of nirvana, if you like. silence...

follow where you lead, directly to the ground. i really could, think about it, even enjoy it. scream it's my place, where i belong, one direct hit. savor my blood like candy, just like my first love could you let me escape? let me escape

soooooooooo the alibi begins to set: the meeting with another woman. the jealousy and rage pouring over. it's a dinner date on a soso restaurant. the knife glittering. the food is really nice, would you care for a glass of wine? red. all over.

go before to the north of the fountain, there you will find my girl devil and she will take you where you want to go dancing

this distinct sound made me remember something. like when i was a kid and waited in vain for someone to enter my room and chop my head off. as i remember the feeling vaguely, and think about how paranoid i can be, i keep listening to the driping drops of water falling in the tub. tictic. 1015-saturday night, tictic, an episode of the twilight zone, tictic, my head chopped off by an axe, tictic, my mind is really disturbed.

no, I have not. there is always another road, another sign, another flip of the same face, of the same coin, or another wave to crush on. yeah, yeah... nonsense-she said as she pulled over the car and tried to make him get out. If you did not think about having kids, when are you gonna? Kids-he thought to himself-one more reason to live, to love and yet one more reason to try and kill myself, especially if they come up half as spoiled as my wife... I thought about it. Kids? NAH!

undo, redo. rewind and erease. the knowing of a late outcome can curse your preset present till you find out it may even be... ok. without waiting we stumble upon tried before answers we don't even say. and the last thing you stand on top is the facts, and the first you fall upon is the sad... ness of having lost... a chance.

yackety-yack. not good to not think this through. but whenever it calls it follows. so, it calls. and the brain starts to understand it should be following. "why don't you come by my place tonight?" of course the answer is written in the question, it's not even a question. and it follows. and we say good morning like we say goodnight, like the only thing we say.

why would she lie to me? maybe she had something to loose, some uncontrolable urge to fuck with me, in any way possible. and why the tears, and the crusts of what seemed to be regret, and the happines g0dd4mm!t after all im just a whiner and the people sorrounding me are just here to set the fun on fire. i want to sing so badly but the words escape in other ways, maybe more reliable, sarcastic out of focus and undry bring it.

Just like a dreary dream dreamt by the unlikely bum. It opened with a face, a smile and a dance. then lights turned around into night. and the face was blown like leaves, and the cats realized the dance was over. save me one last dance only in the dreams i can not escape completely from the broken pleasure of this song unsung. charming and lonely, eyes wide, and open. eyes fixed and crazed, closed soulless eyes. Hey...

i don't quite remember what she had said to me, only that i was left sitting and crying, thinking about the next day in the park, the next coffee and the next cig. she didn't leave me, but left me alone. i was confused and at the same time amazed. i felt naive and white. the next day, with the coffee and the cig in the park, she met me there with some guy, it was supposed to be her dad. he kept on telling her that they should go, she kept looking at me as if i had the answer. they finally left. i put out the cigarette in my coffee and poured down a blanket till it covered my feet, and went to sleep.

it was not until thursday that i knew what was going on. the lift seemed an unlikely solution. all things pointed to the direction i had not faced before. the sky was a little red and grey. and their bodies grew yellow and black. everything in my head was blurry, still when i spoke it was as if i was certain about anything. the fact remained that while i was alive, my friends were dead, and i was starting to think that i did them in. one by one in my strangest dreams i killed them in my sleep. and now, not knowing what to do i just lay in my tent, hoping someone reaches what's left of us. the forest was a great scenario, i could have taken a million pictures if the sight wasn't dragged to this.