only in my head

coffee smelled like shit. we were late to meet come friends over at the bar on the corner of our street, sex was the ultimate reason to be late, but it wasn't this time. Now we were recovering from a fight in which she nearly drowned my ass in the bathtub, and also i tried to commit suicide an hour ago. What a blast.
i love her though, i really do.
sometimes it can only be expressed in how i touch her, in how i embrace her.

ok, so what if i tried?

i wanted to write in english today.
Dust really does turn it all, when i tried to sleep (and i write i without capital letter, because it is not more important than you, or them i guess...) and finished dessert inside the fridge with a carrot and some soda.
woke up tied to bed, she was beside me smiling and smoking, which i hate a lot. told me i wasn't good enough if tears never flowed from my pretty little black eyes.
so i cried and told that even though i knew she wasn't good enough for me, she was all i got, so i just had to love her with and also without my dirty black heart.
she whispered that she did not need me, she was only there to help.
i liked it that we couldn't stop crying then, it was a lot like sex, satisfying and also tiring. did not speak for hours. woke up the next evening with her on top wearing tears and a necklace that i made her.

luck?

Tight and quiet, he tied her under a tree while he tried to have her.
She never refused, but it was always cold outside and inside.
They fought over control once more, without feeling the blood they took from the other each.
she fainted when he kissed the back of her neck, as he tied himself to the tree, to the throat, and jumped.

ps: wish me luck trying to find someone to do this with, will you?

whatever...

having stopped, he looked at his wife lying on the floor. He danced around her, like she still had evil spirits.
she cried and moaned with her eyes closed.
they stared at each other, tears on faces, blood on ground.
Music was comfortably playing in the background, maybe Muse or Radiohead, like spinning plates or new born.
she slapped him in forgiveness.

(maybe it will be continued if i feel it deserves a chance)