ok, so what if i tried?

i wanted to write in english today.
Dust really does turn it all, when i tried to sleep (and i write i without capital letter, because it is not more important than you, or them i guess...) and finished dessert inside the fridge with a carrot and some soda.
woke up tied to bed, she was beside me smiling and smoking, which i hate a lot. told me i wasn't good enough if tears never flowed from my pretty little black eyes.
so i cried and told that even though i knew she wasn't good enough for me, she was all i got, so i just had to love her with and also without my dirty black heart.
she whispered that she did not need me, she was only there to help.
i liked it that we couldn't stop crying then, it was a lot like sex, satisfying and also tiring. did not speak for hours. woke up the next evening with her on top wearing tears and a necklace that i made her.